Hey there, mollusk. Are you wanting to support your local internet artist
scumbag piece of shit obnoxious stupid person creep loser?
Well, you've obviously come to the right place. Here, I have things you might want to buy. Stickers I've had printed, art I've made, miscellaneous physical items. They could maybe be props, or junk related to this website or my YouTube channel. Anything that you may or may not want, if you're so much of a devoted fan of Put It on My Bill. And if you are, hell, I thank you very much.
All of these proceeds will go to me, as opposed to the third party merch store I made, wherein I get maybe 10% of whatever revenue is made from people buying my merch. That said, these things are all pretty inexpensive. Obviously if it's just some paper or prop that I've used, it's payment enough that you want it. Most things here, unless it's art that I've spent time working on, are probably just $1. I think that breaks even for the stickers I've had printed. If not, well, that's lame. And lame is the whole point, so I'm all for it!
Each item listed on here will have an ORDER NUMBER. When you find something that you'd like to purchase, please send my Twitter account a message, @Put1tonMyBill, with your order number and mailing address. From there, I will link you to my PayPal, you can send me the money, and I can send you your order in the mail. Everything I send will come with a personalized note, and some business cards. It will be my greatest pleasure to serve you! Sometimes, late at night, I feel like crying. But I never do. I never do.
If you do not have Twitter, or prefer to use something else, you can reach me through the Put It on My Bill Facebook page. Although I might not respond to you as fast because of issues with the Facebook page messaging system.
If you do not have PayPal, or prefer to use something else, we can also use Venmo.
DISCLAIMERS: If your order is a piece of art or any kind of paper, it will be folded to fit into an envelope.
Items will be added to the catalogue as time goes by. Items will be removed when there is no more for sale.
If there is an item you would like to purchase that is not listed on our catalogue, contact us.
Maybe, just maybe, we can make an exception. Just for you, you charming little diamond.
Now, one last thing before we get into the catalogue listings:
It's possible that you found this catalogue in an alley, stumbled across it in a friend's apartment, or maybe uncovered it at the scene of a crime. Put it down, then forget you ever saw it. And remember this phrase, "I didn't see anything."
If you're still reading this, I hope you're supposed to be. Whoever gave this to you has to vouch for you, and they know what a risk that is, even if you don't. Our clientele have been hand selected for their appreciation of the art, but if for some reason you lose the taste for Put It on My Bill, then we'll have to give you the full first-hand experience.
Here is a small sticker, with a penny next to it to help demonstrate the size of the sticker. No, the penny is not included. It would be against the law, not to mention just illogical, for me to sell you legal tender. At least, I think so.
I have plenty of these, so feel free to order more than one. Put them on your skateboards, guitars, laptops, or water bottles! Us them as bumper stickers to show apathetic people who may be driving behind you in traffic that you're miserable and proud! Vandalize your community by sticking these on street signs, sidewalk curbs, light posts, or newspaper dispensers!
(For legal reasons, Put It on My Bill and its associates do not encourage vandalism. For moral reasons, Put It on My Bill and its associates are believe that a sticker smaller than a flacid penis is not going to hurt anybody, placed on a streetlight or otherwise.)
$1 per sticker // ORDER #001
Here is a another small sticker. Same size, just, y'know, turned horizontally. Again, a penny next to it for scale. And AGAIN, I have to stress that the penny is not for sale. If you really are that desperate for pennies, go walk around outside gas stations or supermarkets, there's usually pennies out on the sidewalks in front of them. Or check a fountain, I guess. I don't know.
If this design looks similar to the FACE STICKER, and you're thinking that I just cropped the image and reversed the colors, you'd be exactly right. But I think it looks cool. Like some nasty, swampy sunset. A messy look, sure, but we like that stuff here. We're naughty. Naughty boys over here at Put It on My Bill.
putitonmybill.org, the naughtiest website for naughty boys. Maybe I should make that the subhead for the front page of the site. Actually, maybe I shouldn't.
$1 per sticker // ORDER #002