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putitonmybill.org was created in 2018, a supplementary resource for a youtube channel created in 2014. After over 10 years - 10 tiring, tragic, beautiful, kafkaesque years - there's still not much I can say with certainty about what I've been doing with this.

He began creating on the internet when he was in high school. He was so young. His eyes were bright and he had a lust for life. Effervescent. Unbroken, as pure as the driven snow. He wanted to be a video game youtube silly man. And like any ripe fresh fruit, I watched him go sour, decay, degenerate over the many long years. It was never his fault. Nor is it mine, I tell myself. Fruits oxidize, it's just the nature of things. No star keeps it's shine forever, lest it's brightness grow disconcerting. I walk today as what remains of that fruit, that bouncing, beautiful baby boy. Inside me he hasn't rotted at all, not one spot on his smiling face has turned brown and soft. What you see here on this website is the aftermath, it's what I've made of that legacy. He's around here, somewhere, if you look hard enough. Maybe that's just what I tell myself.

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I suppose if, like me, you are your own pallbearer, greeting each new morning as an opportunity to carry your own bloated corpse atop your shoulders and display it to your neighbors, you belong on  putitonmybill.org.

Welcome home.

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When I snuff you out, I will cover the heavens and darken their stars; I will cover the sun with a cloud, and the moon will not give its light.

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